So, not that you're interested, here's a quick synopsis.
On July 13 I woke up but couldn't get out of bed. Back hurt, leg hurt. Two days later, went to the doc, who told me I had a slipped disk and gave me some codeine. It got worse until I ended up in the ER because I could no longer walk and was in a great deal of pain. The ER doc told me I had a herniated disc and gave me some oxycodone.
For the record: neither codeine nor oxycodone do anything whatsoever for nerve pain.
It got worse, until I could no longer sit in a chair, couldn't stand, and couldn't walk. I could lie on the floor with my calves resting on the seat of a chair. Like a sitting posture, only horizontal.
It got worse and I started thinking about who would help D liquidate what assets I have. I figured the Volvo locals would help with selling my cars, tools and collectibles. Dad is in real estate, so he could help sell our house in Southeast Portland, or get the deed into her name. I spent three days knowing - not wondering - that if this was what I was in for, that there was no quality of life and I wouldn't survive it. I was pretty scared, thinking that it wasn't going to get better. It was as bad as I could imagine, and then it got worse. Really not cool.
By this time I was crawling from the couch or my horizontal chair to the bathroom and back. Standing upright was out of the question and walking had become a fantasy. I could get into the shower and sit on the floor, but couldn't wash myself and when I was done rinsing off, couldn't dry myself. Once dry, couldn't put on my clothes myself. Humiliating.
And then it got worse. I couldn't sleep and remained awake for three days and nights before I was able to start napping. I'd thrash around all night, then have a breakfast smoothie and a cup of coffee, then fall asleep for a couple hours. The hallucinations were okay. I wished that I could just pass out from the pain - I'd heard that people do that sometimes and couldn't imagine how much more pain it would take before I could just slip into unconsciousness. I wished I could go to the hospital and have them induce a coma. Anything to get some rest and let the body either heal or shut down.
I got an MRI and we learned that I have a severely herniated disc that's been pinching my sciatic nerve. This explained why my left leg was in constant debilitating pain, why I'd lost the reflexes in my left leg, why my calf had gone numb, and why my foot was tingling. The MRI was terribly uncomfortable for my bum leg. My leg started shaking, and I couldn't get it to stop, so the first round of images was useless. We went back the following day and I took a coctail of oxycodone and a couple liquid valium to help me hold still. I was hoping that mix would put me into a happy state of confusion (they told me I'd really be feeling the effects) but about all I managed was to relax enough that I could just continue telling myself that the leg pain wouldn't get any worse and that I had to hold still no matter what.
See that grey thing in the middle? It's supposed to be contained like the other two and not squirting out the side toward the right of the pic.
Acupuncture has been the only thing to offer any relief from the discomfort. Drugs were useless. The acupuncture was as close to a miracle as anything I've ever experienced personally. D and I agree that anytime anything ever happens that makes either of us uncomfortable at all, we're going to see Dr Xiao. D is amazed at the medical attention I've received - in Italy, the very first thing they do when you have a slipped disc is get you into the MRI so that they can assess the damage. Over here, they give you painkillers that don't work and send you home with a book about stretching and ask you to come back in two weeks. Say what you will about socialized medicine. At least those docs aren't thinking about the financial bottom line.
I've now seen my regular doc [take these pills and stretch], the ER doc [take these other pills and stretch], the acupuncturist [complete effing miracle], a neurologist [you need surgery], an osteopath [you don't need surgery, you need steroids] and a neurosurgeon [you don't need surgery and you shouldn't have steroids]. The only consensus they've reached is that I ought to be able to heal without surgery (other than the neurologist, whose expertise isn't surgery), and I'm pretty pleased about that.
I got a cortisone shot and should feel some relief from that pretty soon. It takes a week to become effective and I've got a few days to go. My back is sore, but my leg is what's really bothering me. My left thigh has begun to atrophe and is now an inch smaller in circumference than the right; my hip joint still hurts, and my calf is still sore behind the shin and numb all over the front.
The good news is that I can walk unassisted for about 100 feet before I have to sit. The x rays and MRI scans show that I don't have any tumors in my spine, kidneys nor liver and that aside from this one offending disc that my spine is otherwise in fine shape.
I have no complaints. Other than this disc thing, life is good. I do wish I could get more sleep, though.
Cheers -
Cameron
